The following is taken from the latest entry in my personal journal.

NOTE TO SELF:

Next time you want to impress an intellectual young woman with the sophistication of your taste in amusements, as well as with your appreciation of her mental capabilities and quality of character, suggest the following activity for your next rousing game night: she is to wash all of the dishes left over from dinner, and bring each one to you individually for your inspection as you sit on the couch enjoying your beer of choice. Each time you find a dirty spot, she is to bend over your lap and be subjected to a playful yet firm spanking. As a side note, while doing all of this she is attired in a Playboy bunny suit complete with fluffy tail and ears, opera gloves and thigh-high stockings made of latex, and four-inch high heels. Her ankles will be chained together leaving only the minimal slack necessary for her to hobble from kitchen to couch, her wrists chained to her waist with sufficient length for both hands to reach the sink. She will wear a leather collar padlocked onto her neck with a jingling bell on the front, as well as a ballgag strapped into her mouth, over which shall be affixed a layer of microfoam tape with lips drawn on using her most flattering shade of lipstick.

I do NOT recommend suggesting her hair be put into high, bouncy pig tails, however. That would just be demeaning.

-Ed